


Evil Counterparts Really Suck

by graceandfire



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4487577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceandfire/pseuds/graceandfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silly Mirror Universe Crack which are words that do not often go together.</p><p>----------</p><p>The biggest complaint Jim had so far about these alternate universe counterparts of the Enterprise crew was that they had no frigging sense of humor.  Oh yeah, and they were evil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evil Counterparts Really Suck

The biggest complaint Jim had so far about these alternate universe counterparts of the Enterprise crew was that they had no frigging sense of humor.  Oh yeah, and they were _evil_. 

But seriously, evil-him had smiled at real-him but it had been one of those gloating—if I had a moustache I’d be twirling it—bwah, hah, hah smiles.  And then Evil-him had sucker punched real-him.  Evil-him was an _asshole_.

Jim had gotten a glimpse of Evil-Scotty when his damaged shuttlecraft had first been brought on board Evil-Enterprise.  Evil-Scotty had sneered evilly, sucker punched him—because apparently that was what Evil people _did_ —and then started cooing over some apparent differences in alternate universe shuttlecrafts.

And then there was Evil-Sulu who had taken the whole sword wielding thing and fuck if he hadn’t embraced it to a scary, scary level what with the eye-patch and the sinister scar and the _at least seven blades_ that Jim had spotted.  And that wasn’t even counting the hidden ones because blades were like roaches and if you could spot one then that meant there were at least 1,000 in hiding or some shit like that.    
   
Evil-Chekov was sullen and pouty and totally unlike his _totally superior_ non-evil Chekov’s clear eyed earnestness.  The kid was clearly trying to _look_ like a bad ass with the leather and the eyeliner but, really, he kind of looked like someone’s pet and--ah, _fuck_ , Jim winced internally--apparently Evil-Chekov _was_ someone's pet because, at Evil-him’s signal, the kid got down on his knees and started _crawling_ towards Evil-him in a disturbingly feline and inappropriately underage way and then started _LICKING_ Evil-him’s _BOOTS and c_ ould he  _PLEASE_ not have this shit  _scarring_ _up his PSYCHE?!_  
  
Jim was almost grateful when Evil-McKinley aka Evil-Cupcake arrived to drag him to the brig (and really, not a shocker to discover that Cupcake was totally evil in both universes).   
  
And when he’d hit on evil-Uhura on the way off--and on the way on--the bridge out of reflex, she’d just looked at him with the promise of death in her dark, dark eyes and pulled out a knife.  From where, he had no fucking clue because Evil-uniforms?  Didn’t have a whole lot of hiding places.  Jim actually kind of approved of Evil Universe’s uniforms.  And okay so maybe evil-Uhura wasn’t all that different from his Uhura except his Uhura’s knife thrusts were usually verbal.  Usually.

Evil-Spock?  Had raised an eyebrow at Jim and said with mild interest “fascinating.”  Okay yeah, so maybe evil-Spock was almost exactly like his Spock.  Expect for the haircut which…Spock in a Mohawk.  Heh.  When he got out of this and made it back to his reality he was going to have to recreate that little image and share it with the _entire galaxy._

Evil McCoy?  Jim hadn’t met him yet and really didn’t want to because simple, child-like faith had the core of Jim convinced that there was no such thing as an evil Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy in any Universe.  And, if there was, well then the rest of Jim never wanted to know about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the 'Mirror Universe' flashfic challenge from oh so long ago.
> 
> I thought about writing dark and angsty and came up with this instead. Uhm. Yeah. I had trouble writing angst back then. Really. (if you've read my Brightness Burns series you can stop laughing now...)
> 
> But then the last sentence of this fic is what served as the seed that eventually became my Brightness Burns Universe which is all kinds of angsty so who knows...


End file.
